
Teen Talk
10 Survival Tips for Today's Teen Girls
Provided by Dr. Melisa Holmes and Dr. Trish
Hutchinson
July/August 2008
In returning back to the routines of high school, teen girls are
sometimes faced with an onslaught of new problems, new transformations,
both physical and emotional and difficult situations that they
may be completely unfamiliar with. In their book, "GIRLOLOGY:
Hang Ups, Hook Ups & Holding Out: Stuff You Need To Know About
Your Body, Sex and Dating," Melisa Holmes, M.D. and Trish
Hutchinson, M.D. offer 10 "survival tips" that may help
keep your teen stay educated and better prepared to handle whatever
may come their way.
It may feel exciting to do risky
things in front of your friends, but anything you do can be recorded,
and you never know where or when it might show up again. Remember
that everything that is digitally created (using cell phones, cameras,
video and even e-mails, voice mails and text messages) is recordable,
reproducible and positively permanent!
Normal is not what you see in
ads and on TV. When
you get mixed up about what is normal, lose sight of reality and
forget about your strengths, you inevitably start to feel badly
about yourself. There's no easy answer, but you can start
to pull away from the negative messages by respecting yourself,
focusing on what you like about your body and appreciating the
amazing things your body can do.
Whether you want it to be or not, sex is a big deal because
it can have lifelong consequences. The possibility of something
great, like creating a new life, or of something horrible, like
getting an infection, make it nearly impossible to experience sex
as something purely physical with no "emotional" strings
attached.
Get to know the nice guys. When you place too much
emphasis on "what" you are dating (hottie, jock, rocker,
popular guy), or just how he looks, you'll find yourself developing
bad relationship habits that can stick with you for a long time. Instead,
check out who he really is by taking the time to learn more about
him. Does he have goals? A sense of humor? A passion
for animals? Getting to know him will help you find a great
guy or recognize a really shallow one that's not worth your time.
Confidentiality is a very important part of your relationship
with your doctor. If you can't be honest with your doctor
because you fear your parents will know everything you discuss,
your doctor can't take care of you and give you the advice and
information you need. It's a great time to get your mom (or
another trusted adult) to help you find a doctor of your own with
whom you feel comfortable discussing private stuff.
Be smart about alcohol and drug use. Know how to
say no. Know what these substances do and what they don't
do. For starters, they don't improve your life (not even
your sex life). Ever.
It's normal to think about sex and have sexual desires,
but learning to manage your feelings in a safe and responsible
way is really important. Think about your future goals and
what you value, and then decide how far you feel comfortable going
when it comes to sex. Set your sexual boundaries now, and
you'll be more likely to stick to them rather than just "letting
things happen" when you didn't really want to.
Don't be fooled into thinking "it" won't happen
to you. Unintended pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases
affect teens more than any other age group. If you're having
sex, get serious about birth control, preventing infections, taking
care of your body and getting tested regularly.
No matter what you may hear, most high school teens are
holding out on sex. In fact, more and more teens today are
deciding that sex is just too stressful and risky. Some have
had sex before, but decided to stop and wait until they're older
before becoming sexually involved again. Some have never
had sex because they've just made that decision from the start. Either
way, waiting is a wise choice that will let you enjoy your teen
years without the worries and responsibilities related to sex.
There's something to learn from every relationship -
even when it's ending. If you find yourself on the dropped
end of a break up, just remember that you can't change someone's
feelings for you, no matter how much you cry, grovel or beg. If
it's over, don't turn it into a big drama. Let it end as
nicely as you can, and you'll preserve your dignity and respect.
Dr. Holmes is an ob-gyn and a nationally recognized advocate for
adolescent health. Dr. Hutchison is a pediatrician with a passion
for adolescents. As trusted physicians with over 25 years of clinical
experience between them, both have been named among the Best Doctors
in America. These doctors "get it" on many levels
and provide a healthy dose of uncensored advice that today's teens
crave. For further information please visit www.girlology.com.
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