
Teen Talk
Supporting Your Child
During the College
Decision-Making Process
By Marian Higgins
Jan/Feb 2008
Choosing a college can be overwhelming. Parental support during
this process is important and can make a difficult decision manageable.
As your child prepares to decide on a college, here are some
tips that can help you support and guide her through this process.
Review the total package
When your child receives the official admissions letter, your first
response will be to jump for joy. With much excitement in the
air, do not forget to pay attention to the details of the admissions
letter and the financial aid award letter. Make sure you understand
the terms of the admission. For example, the admissions letter
may state that your child needs to take remedial (developmental)
classes. In this case, you will want to confirm the number of
remedial classes to be taken and ask how taking these courses
will affect the student’s timeline for graduation.
Discuss financial responsibilities and expectations
The cost of tuition, room and board is one of the major concerns
for students and their families. Shortly after an admissions
offer is presented, your child will also receive their financial
aid award letter. Make sure that you understand the amount awarded
and the terms of the award (i.e. the length of time for receiving
a specified scholarship). Call the financial aid office if you
are unsure of how to interpret the letter.
Additionally, discuss with your child the amount of money you
are willing to contribute towards her college education. If you
are expecting your child to contribute, you should communicate
that as well. Do not allow the cost of college to deter your child
from attending. One option is for her to attend a less expensive
college to complete general education courses and then, she could
possibly transfer to another college later.
Offer encouragement during
disappointment
After submitting several college admissions applications, the unexpected
may occur – your child receives an admission denied letter
or she does not receive enough financial aid. While disheartening,
it is a part of life for which you will want to prepare your child.
To help her cope, make sure she has identified some alternative
college choices. If she experiences being denied admission into
her top college choice, she may want to contact the college and
inquire about the reason for not being admitted. Many institutions
have a waitlist and she should ask about her status on the waitlist.
Ask an admissions office representative if it is possible for re-application
to the institution and how to best prepare in the meantime for
the re-application process.
The alternative colleges selected by your child
may turn out to be ideal for her. Encourage her to review her alternatives
and to consider them as a possibility. Each year, many students
are denied admissions into their first choices; however, many find
that their alternative selections provide positive and rewarding
experiences.
Allow your child to make the decision
Choosing a college is a family affair. It is important that all
involved parties are satisfied with the final decision; however,
your child should ultimately be the one to select the college she
plans to attend. You can help your child make the decision by asking
her questions that will help her form her own opinions. For example,
you may want to ask her the following questions: “What do
you like or dislike about this college?” and “How do
you think this college captures your interest?” Remember,
deciding on a college is one of many decisions that your child
will have to make during this time. Why not help her learn how
to make informed decisions while she is still living with you?
Affirm the decision
After your child makes a final decision, assure her that she has
made the right decision. Discourage her from comparing her choice
to those of her friends and family if it will cause her to doubt
her ability to make a decision. Celebrate this victory by treating
her to dinner, a movie, or college paraphernalia. Provide her
with the encouragement she needs to feel comfortable with her
decision.
These are just some tips to encourage you as you support your
child in selecting a college. Remember to stay positive through
this process and your child will ultimately choose the best college
to attend.
Marian Higgins is a certified counselor who works as a career
counselor at The University of Georgia. She is a former a college
admissions officer and is a practicing educational consultant.
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