
Online Bonus Article
Eight Parenting Resolutions for ‘08
By Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott
Posted November 2007
Who you are matters more than what you do. This simple truth is
the hinge upon which all your parenting techniques swing. Yet this
fundamental fact eludes far too many parents. Don’t let it
happen to you. Make this the year you cultivate “intentional
traits” for your child to emulate.
Here are eight New Year’s resolutions to help you become
the parent you want to be in 2008.
1. Give them the praise they crave: Be an affirming parent. Realistically
praise what your child does, and show him that you notice, love
and value him.
2. Count to ten – again: Be a patient parent. When frustrated,
stay calm and cool and try to see the world from your child’s
viewpoint.
3. Hear what they don’t say: Be an attentive parent. Listen
for the feelings, values and fear your child does not overtly express
and find gentle and meaningful ways to let her know you understand.
4. See a picture of their future: Be a visionary parent. Treat
your child’s dreams seriously and foster a future that will
help him actualize what he aspires to do and be.
5. Build a better bond: Be a connected parent. Create bonding
experiences by intentionally fostering activities you both enjoy
together.
6. Commemorate milestones: Be a celebratory parent. Communicate
a powerful message of love to your child by planning festivities
to commemorate developmental signposts worth remembering.
7. Keep your word: Be an authentic parent. Use everyday occurrences
to “walk your talk” and show your child that you are
deserving of her trust.
8. Instill wisdom: Be an insightful parent. Become an “emotional
coach” for your child by accepting negative emotions as a
fact of life and using them as opportunities to teach life lessons.
Can’t be all eight? That’s okay. No parent perfectly
embodies each of these. So choose the qualities that matter most
to you. Which ones do you want your child to use in describing
you twenty years from now? Put your efforts there and make this
your best year as a parent ever.
Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott are founders of RealRelationships.com
and co-directors of the Center for Relationship Development at
Seattle Pacific University (SPU). They have written several best-selling
books. Their latest book is The
Parent You Want To Be: Who You Are Matters More Than What You Do.
They have been featured in national print publications
and have appeared on “The
View”, “O’Reilly
Factor”, “Good Morning America”, “Oprah” and
CNN. Les Parrott is a professor of clinical psychology at SPU,
and Leslie is a marriage and family therapist at SPU. Visit www.RealRelationships.com.
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