
Feature/General
Stopping Bullies
Jul/Aug 2008
Having lunch money stolen by a bully was one of the most traumatizing
memories of childhood for many people. Nearly 30 percent of U.S.
students will fall victim to bullies or bully other children
this year, according to the University of New Hampshire. Bullying
cannot only damage children physically, but can also cause the
victims to suffer extreme damage to their self-confidence. It
is so important for parents to keep themselves updated on any
problems that may be going on with your child at school when
it comes to bullying and cruel behavior. And sometimes, the most
difficult thing is getting your son or daughter to open up and
actually tell you what’s going on. In cases like these,
it’s a good idea to provide your kids with resources on
dealing with the situation.
An award-winning illustrated children’s storybook by Janet
Heller, How the Moon Regained Her Shape, is a tool that allows
parents and educators to discuss bullying with children. Influenced
by Native American legends, Heller’s tale about how the moon
changes shape due to bullying personifies the lunar cycle.
The main character of the story, the moon, finds herself as the
target of the sun’s malicious insults. While once the proud
moon danced and laughed, she is now embarrassed and begins shrinking.
A comet directs her to a Native American woman on earth who can
heal her pain. The woman hugs the moon and shows her how important
she is to the people and animals on earth. After regaining her
confidence and full shape, the moon always remembers how valuable
she is to her friends on earth when any bully insults her.
Heller’s book is just one of countless resources available.
Another great tool for parents and kids is the website, www.stopbullyingnow.hrsa.gov.
The site provides a wealth of information for parents, and fun
games for kids to play that teach them valuable lessons on what
to do in a bad situation, how to stop bullies and how to prevent
it from happening again.
Sadly, bullying is a common problem. Almost everyone has
been forced to deal with a vicious situation or person, and it
can appear in many forms. Hitting and/or punching (physical bullying),
teasing or name-calling (verbal bullying), intimidation using gestures
or social exclusion (nonverbal bullying or emotional bullying)
and sending insulting messages by phone or computer e-mail (cyberbullying)
are all possibilities. As mentioned earlier, many children, particularly
boys and older children, don’t tell their parents or adults
at school about being bullied. It is important that adults are
vigilant as possible to the signs of bullying (see box at left).
If you have suspicions that your child is dealing with a bully
or bullies, it’s essential that you make sure to open a line
of communication with them. Even if they don’t want to talk,
they need to know that you’re available if they do feel like
sharing with you. It may also be helpful to meet with your child’s
teachers or the staff at their school. Teachers will probably be
in the best position to understand the relationships between your
child and other peers at school. Share your concerns about your
child and ask the teacher specific questions-be sure that he or
she isn’t just focusing on what type of bullying, such as
physical or verbal.
If you are not comfortable talking with your child’s teacher,
or if you are not satisfied with the conversation, make an appointment
to meet with your child’s guidance counselor or principal
to discuss your concerns. If you obtain information from your child
or from staff at your child’s school that leads you to believe
that he or she is being bullied, take quick action. Bullying can
have serious effects on children. The more educated and prepared
you and your child are, the better the end results will be.
Warning Signs of Being Bullied
- Has unexplained cuts, bruises and scratches
- Has few,
if any friends, with whom he or she spends time
- Seems afraid
of going to school, walking to and from school, riding the school
bus, or taking part in organized activities with peers (such
as clubs)
- Takes a long, “illogical” route when walking
to or from school
- Has lost interest in school work or suddenly
begins to do poorly in school
- Appears sad, moody, teary or depressed
when he or she comes home
- Complains frequently of headaches,
stomachaches or other physical ailments
- Has trouble sleeping
or has frequent bad dreams
- Appears anxious and suffers from low self-esteem
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