Parenting 101
Parenting 101: Party Etiquette
By Elizabeth Dick
Sept/Oct 2007

Q: I’m afraid that my daughter will be a little too honest about her birthday presents – she’s done it at Christmas. How can I make sure she doesn’t say anything rude to her guests if she gets something she doesn’t like?

A: Talk to your daughter beforehand about the meaning of gifts and that she is receiving them to honor her on her day. Explain that a gift is a sign of friendship and love. Teach your daughter to say “thank you” or “I love it” after receiving a gift and practice, even role play, for the few days leading up to the party. If something embarrassing does slip out, about all you can do is remind your daughter that it is not nice to say things like that and apologize to the gift giver.

Opening presents at the birthday not only sends a message that gifts are required, but can create boredom and jealousy for the other kids. Waiting until after the party is over can also teach children that having fun with their friends and family is the most important part of a birthday party.
On the other hand, some kids spend a lot of time picking out just the right gift for their friend, and not getting to see them open it kind of takes the wind out of the gift-giving process. Watching someone open a gift you have given them enhances the joy of giving – and the joy of giving is a much more important lesson to learn than the joy of receiving.

A happy medium would be to have your child open each guest’s gift as he or she leaves. It’s private, it’s more personal and your guest gets to see his or her gift opened. If you choose to wait until after the party, take a picture of your child opening each gift and include a copy in the corresponding thank you note.