
Feature/General
Cyber Bullying
By Brittany Boyer
Nov/Dec 2006
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It is a good idea to have the computer
in a central location in your home. A computer in your
child's bedroom often encourages negligent behavior. |
When most parents hear the term
"cyber bullying" they usually get a puzzled look on their faces.
After all, the phrase is relatively new, but the problem has been
around for years. In the age of the internet, cell phones, MySpace,
chat rooms and text messaging, most children are "wired" the majority
of their day. With these new communication outlets, children are
finding new ways in which to torment others. Kids no longer fear
the playground or the lunchroom. Instead, bullies are hiding behind
computer screens and cell phones to harass their peers.
"Cyber bullying is defined as online material that threatens
or raises concerns about violence against others, suicide or other
self‑harm. There are two kinds: Direct threats are actual
threats to hurt someone or commit suicide. Distressing material
provides clues that the person is emotionally upset and may be
considering hurting someone, hurting him/herself or committing
suicide." (As defined at cyberbully.org)
While the actual definition might be scary, the numbers are even
more startling. I‑Safe America, an organization promoting
web safety, surveyed 1500 students in 4th through 8th grade, and
found that 42% have been bullied online while 53% of students admitted
to saying something mean or hurtful to someone else online.
Signs of Victimization |
If you are worried or concerned that
your child is a victim of "online bullying," Cyberbully.org has
compiled a list of warning signs that are helpful in detecting
this type of activity.
- Emotional upset depression, sadness,
anxiety, anger or fear, especially if there is nothing
readily apparent that could be causing this upset, or if
your child seems especially upset after using the Internet
or cell phone
- Avoidance of school, friends and activities
- Decline
in grades
- Subtle comments that reflect emotional distress
or disturbed online or in person relationships
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Cyber bullying can entail a variety of things using various communication
outlets. In some cases, the tormenting has taken place through
websites specifically crafted to harass individual students and
point out their flaws. In others, a camera phone was used to snap
an inappropriate or embarrassing photo in a locker room of a student
undressing and then instantly sent to friends with a hurtful message
attached. Others have created false identities in instant messaging
programs in order to deceive someone into releasing private information.
The main reason cyber bullying is so easy to do and get away
with is because of the anonymity. A student can hide behind a computer
screen or cell phone and act out their hatred because they aren't
face to face with their victim, thus giving them more courage.
When people feel as if they are invisible it removes the fear of
being caught or facing social rejection. In many cases, the online
predator doesn't even know the person they are victimizing. It
is simply a random act of anger and hatred.
It is a well known fact that bullying can scar someone emotionally
and physically for the rest of their life. This tormenting can
result in a person being depressed, having low self‑esteem,
low achievement levels, anger, hatred and even suicide. For many,
it is simply too much to handle every day of their life. What makes
this new "online" bullying even worse is that victims never have
an escape; the Internet provides bullies with a 24/7 outlet for
their harassment.
As a parent, it is extremely important for you to have an open
relationship with your child as you discuss these issues. Talk
to your child about their online behavior and discuss "cyber bullying"
directly with them. Let them know you have done research on the
subject and cite specific examples of harassment that you have
read about. They may not know the term, but know of situations
in which bullying has occurred. Ask them whether or not they know
of any related situations going on with their friends or at school.
It is also important to set up Internet use guidelines with your
child. It is a good idea to have the computer in a central location
in your home. A computer in your child's bedroom often encourages
negligent behavior because they feel like they can get away with
it. If your child is the victim, you might not ever know about
the problem because you are unable to see your child's reaction
to hurtful material if they are in their bedroom. Also, make sure
you tell your child to never reveal personal information online
to anyone: where they go to school, home address, schedules, personal
characteristics, etc. Again, cyber bullying is not just between
classmates. It could be someone your child has never been in contact
with before.
If you do find incriminating information on your
child's computer, don't delete it. Save the information in order
to help you identify the problem. One of the first things you can
do is simply ask the bully to stop in a non‑violent tone.
If this doesn't work, most websites have strict policies concerning
harassment. Usually, the site's contact information is found at
the bottom of the homepage. Another
way to combat this type of behavior is to help your child ignore
it. Set up filters that prohibit your computer from receiving information
from certain sites or users. Monitor what sites they are visiting
by searching the 'history' tab on your internet screen. This
feature allows you to see what sites your child has visited within
the last few months. The most important thing to remember is to
stay up to date with your child's online activity. Let them have
some responsibility when it comes to using the computer, but always
talk to them about what type of sites and programs they are visiting.
Remember that communication is the most important thing in dealing
with these types of situations. For more information on cyber bullying,
visit cyberbully.org. Also,
check out the new book by Nancy E. Willard, M.S., J.D., Responding
to the Challenge of Online Social Cruelty, Threats, and Distress.
Brittany Boyer is an Athens Parent intern and a senior at
the University of Georgia graduating this semester from the College
of Family and Consumer Sciences.
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